Here we go.

We were on a train today, moving through the south of France through the alps and towards the beautiful rolling plains of Switzerland. This would have been an amazingly relaxed and calm experience had it not been for the psychopathic looking old woman sitting opposite us. According to Dominika, she watched me whilst I slept. I was a lot more comfortable before she shared this information.

We weren't even planning to visit the Swisslanders, but we had to take a 10 hour pit stop here to get from Paris to Rome. It's a beautiful country, with scenic views and well, not a lot else... unless you are particularly fond of cheese fondue. We're just on the North Western border at the moment, in some university town called Lausanne, it sits overlooking a massive lake, the mountains around it pierce the clouds which create an awesome looking mist that rolls over the water. Nice.

Dominika visited a few old gothic cathedrals and the such, where as I lured birds over with peanut butter and kicked them in the face*.

It's all a lot more relaxing than our first day; everything that could possibly have gone wrong did. Worst of all was losing my brand new PCgamer, to which I am still raging.

1. we were late for the train
2. our tickets weren't valid because STA travel are shit
3. had to pay double the amount for new tickets to get to Paris
4. we arrived in Paris ... what a shithole
5. got lost on the French underground for about an hour.

Finally got tickets to Rome, via this pretentious little university town in Switzerland, on a sleeper train. Got a grotty little hotel room next to the station we left from at 8am this morning, the view was nice enough but it was a bit of a dump. It also had sticky walls which really creeped us out. Went to a restaurant where Dominika got soup that looked like Jizz. It was called swallow nest soup. Tasty, tasty irony.

I have developed a fantastic way of dealing with people who speak little to no English, it is so awesome that it is completely subliminal, even to myself; thankfully Dominika is kind enough to point out everytime I do it.

It works like this, you speak very LOUDLY and very s-l-o-w-l-y, nodding and smiling sweetly as they answer back, if this response is not met with a reasonable answer then you hush them by raising a finger and ask them to 'wait one moment', turn to your partner and exclaim very loudly "what the fuck are they on about?".

So, lots of stress but equal measures of fun, already within the first two and a bit days.

Rome, here we come.

-Tobias

*they were alrite, its nps so dont cry.